“Kayode, I deal in numbers …. Strictly numbers, you want to talk KPIs with me talk numbers, you want to talk cash with me … numbers, you want to talk women… numbers.”
“If Kayode dey talk when we dey talk woman matter e dey pain me. Kayode, let me tell you something because you don’t know nothing about women. NOTHING” Yemi dissed.
“Very funny, look Yemi, I’m married, I think I know a whole lot more about women than you do,” Kayode replied.
“Kayode, you know about Shade… The end! Outside her you know nothing John snow, every day you go back to the same pot of soup, variety equals zero, spoiler alert that is not sex my friend. There’s no thrill man, no hunt.”
The guys cheered. It was office gist time among the male clique in the office and as always Yemi was the champion when the subject of women came up.
“Remember that yellow pawpaw we saw at the club last week that was doing as if she doesn’t use toilet? Mchewww…. CALL ME THE PAROLE ENDER! Call me DCP – Deep Circle Penetrator! The babe left my hotel room 2 nights ago with bow legs. Who is her FADA!!! Is she mad? After 2 outings I hammered her!!”
Yemi could do this for a whole day, but luckily, the little chit chat could only last 15 minutes. As people devoured their lunch and returned to work.
Yemi was performing a cohort analysis on the numbers he had gotten from the field workers about the performance of some of the pipes in Ohaji/Egbema oil rich part of Imo state. He noticed vaguely that there was a growing chatter behind him. Something was happening at the window to the corner of the office and people were gathering steadily.
He took a glance towards the window, 8 people were there, 6 were muttering something… None of his business… he thought. He hadn’t worked for a full minute before he noticed the number was now 20 and for some reason, everyone kept starring back at him.
“DCP”
“Deep Circle Penetrator, I think you might want to see this. And bring your excel sheets with you cause there are a lot of unpleasant numbers here”. Kayode shouted.
It seemed like a joke, he would normally wave off, but Kayode looked serious and more people were gathering at other windows, no one was leaving back to their seats and most importantly, EVERYONE was staring at him.
“KayOOOO, you like drama sha, I dey come”
He walked over to the window slowly; something about the situation seemed very disturbing.
He couldn’t make sense of the first sights that caught his eyes. He expected to see a fight or maybe someone had stolen his car. **
A group of women standing outside the gate of the Headquarters of Nigeria’s biggest oil company with placards would attract any hungry journalist. And that it did. They weren’t trying to get in, they didn’t want to see anybody, and they didn’t want any payment of any sort. They just wanted to make a statement. And they were making a very strong one.
Yemi scanned the small crowd of 15 – 20 women to understand what was going on.
Then he saw it!
STOP THE ABUSE ON WOMEN
“YEMI OTUNBAMIJO OLUKOSU,
EMPLOYEE ID 532,
PHONE NUMBER – 080389££$”,
CORPORATE EMAIL – YEMI@O***O IS RAPIST, SERIAL ABUSER AND HAS MADE ME ABORT 3 CHILDREN
.
Another placard read:
PROMISED TO MARRY ME,
INSTEAD HE RAPED ME, MADE ME ABORT FOR HIM
AND KICKED ME OUT”
Yes… that was his name, his full names, his employee id, his number and email, but who the heck were these people, who did he rape, not one of them looked familiar especially not the purported victim. Who did he abuse? His longest relationship was with Mboutidem, they had been going out for 4 solid years and not once had he laid hands on her. Cheated? YES. Insulted her? YES. Kicked her out? Well only recently but YES. Still he had never raped her! And no one had aborted for him. He hadn’t even promised Mbouti marriage. So who were these touts?
“Yemi, what is this about?” Kayode was the first to speak, his voice was low but his tone was firm.
“Are they all among your numbers”? Someone butt in
Yemi caught the pun, but this was no time for jokes.
“I have no idea” he said after a minute of thought.
“Well maybe this would explain it “Hope thundered from a distance.
Mrs Hope…
The no nonsense taker and Madam of the HR department. Needless to say she and Yemi were not close friends.
“Yemi, those women have been there for just 15 minutes and a blogpost about this little protest outside the office has already gone up. It’s on 2 major gossip blogs as we speak. Some passer-by took a picture of the women protesting in front of the office, your name is in the photo, your phone number, and all the other stuff on placard. The worst part is that the company logo is in that picture“
“Your name is out there in the world as a rapist Yemi, and you’ve dragged the company’s name into your mud. I hate to break this to you but this is bad, you’re in a lot of trouble and I doubt it can be fixed.
Yemi could literally see himself falling into a very deep well as the words “I doubt it can be fixed” went through his mind over a hundred times. He was being accused of rape, by some nobody he didn’t even know.
Who would believe him? The company logo was in the picture! Goddddd Goddd no way, no way he was about to lose this job, he would rather die. 2.5 million naira per month! Where else would he see that kind of money? NO ONE WOULD EVEN EMPLOY HIM IF THIS MATTER LED TO HIS SACK!!
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